I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
