i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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