these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
