The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
