I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We're too hungover to prance.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
