recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just gift wrapped bread.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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