is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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