Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
