I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My vagina is very pro this idea
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