I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
