Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
