He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
