what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
