i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
