I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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