It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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