Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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