Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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