i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
