There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
