his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
