i don't like sucking hair
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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