the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
