We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
