My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
