If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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