i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
