Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
