Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
