who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
