Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
