I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
