I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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