i would punch a child for taco bell
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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