Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
