Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
