note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
