whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
