I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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