i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I deserve this hangover.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
