Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize