Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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