is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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