You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
