My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
