Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
