You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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