i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
