Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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