Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
that is very illegal...i love you.
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