Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
