He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
