i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
