im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
COCAINE IS GR8
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
